Today’s Phrase: Drag Droppings
Drag Droppings - the inevitable and random bits of sequins, feathers, and assorted brightly colored thread that are left behind in the dressing room hallways, staircases, restrooms, and on stage from costumes. Most common from dance recitals, drag shows, and heavier dance pieces of musical theater.

Today’s Phrase: Trash Pass

It sounds like a bad groupie joke, or a toothless stalker’s backstage laminate, but it’s not.

Trash Pass - Life on a bus comes with its own set of rules and courtesies. Whoever is sitting closest to the trash can is the frequent recipient of the ‘trash pass.’ It’s not always convenient given unstable terrain, turns, or simple creature comfort to get up, get your balance, and make your way to the trash can to dispose of trash. Therefore, upon proper declaration, it is acceptable to hand your trash to another for disposal. But you have to say “trash pass,” or it’s just rude.

I’m a day behind due to 2200 miles of travel yesterday, so I’m adding a second phrase of the day today.

Today’s Phrase: Junk Bunk

Junk Bunk - On any given sleeper coach, there are generally 12 bunks for a group of 9 or 10 regular riders. The remaining 2 or 3 bunks are used to store one or two smaller bags per person for the group. This saves people having to dig under the bus for a change of clothes every morning, etc., and keeps a large amount of clutter from gathering in the lounges and public areas. Junk bunks are a critical item for comfort in bus travel as they become like a drawer or personal space for the riders. Very important, and much respected. The cabinets and drawers on board are generally used for bus food, extra sheets and pillows, and other group storage.

Today’s Phrase: “We’re a Bus.” Also known as, “Are we a bus?” “How far are we from being a bus?” and other incarnations.

We’re a Bus - the phrase used by management or whomever is in charge of a particular bus to indicate to the driver that all are on board and ready to travel. The phrase is used liberally to describe other situations in which all are present - company meetings or beginnings of load ins or load outs to indicate that all required are present.

In the absence of an overheard quote of the day (that’s appropriate to post) or a grand lengthy post about life, your friendly tour manager has decided to post a word or phrase of the day. Like a word-a-day calendar, it will share unique terminology that may explain why things are they way they are or give a little insight into daily life on the road.

Today’s phrase: Last One, Fast One

Last One, Fast One - Concerns the last show in a particular city. The tendency of a conductor to speed the music up by a few beats in order to make the show faster and shave a few minutes off the run time in order to assist everyone in getting out earlier. Never sanctioned, but it happens!

Hey kids! We’re famous! We actually just got pulled over on Highway 60 on the way to Amarillo so the cop could find out who was on the tour bus. For real. This job never ceases to amuse me.

Lunch options were quite limited between our Billings, Montana, breakfast stop and our arrival in Casper, Wyoming. Rather than a full hour stop, I opted for a 30 minute fast food break and an earlier arrival for better meal options.

Sabra and Chris headed for McDonald’s to get decent coffee after our quick lunch at Hardee’s. (Like I said, options were limited.)

Sabra stepped up to the counter. “I’d like a medium non-fat mocha please.”

Counter clerk: “That’s a medium non-fat mocha. Would you like that in small, medium, or large?”

Really? Really.

Dinner conversation never ceases to be interesting. At dinner in Butte, Montana last night, the following took place:

Erik (giggling excitedly): The world’s largest open pit copper mine is about a 10 minute walk from the venue. Jason and I are going, and I’m totally taking my camera. It’s all filled with polluted water now.

JB (to me): The look on your face is priceless.

Me (to Erik): Don’t fall in.

Richard: Or, you know, come back with a third arm.

AND, we’re back on tour!

The tour started up again in Reno over the weekend. It’s great to be back on the road. The biggest little city in the world provided all of the ammenities we love - 5 performances with fantastic audiences, a wall section to paint and autograph, as much nightlife as we could handle, and a great casino hotel! Although I’m often disappointed that I can’t blog about a lot of what happens out here, I’m always excited to report what I can.

I’ll be starting a section of this blog called “Overheard” which will highlight the random things I overhear on the bus or backstage. I rarely get the full conversation until later, but touring with wildly creative people who have hours and hours to kill makes for excellent fodder. So watch for a new page on this blog!

It’s back to life on the road, and I couldn’t be more excited!

I’m not going to lie. I love my life. I really do. It’s not perfect, there are things that I wish were slightly different, but everyone has those. But, I. Love. My. Life. And I love train travel. I hopped out of New York for just a night to head down to Washington DC, one of my all-time favorite cities. And at dawn this morning I was standing in front of Union Station watching the colors of the sky change behind the Capitol dome. Amazing.

I’m currently on the Acela Express train back to New York City. A quick trip south from the City to spend time with my business colleagues was both necessary and good for the soul. While the entire trip will be complete, including the train both directions, in 20 hours, they’ve been great hours. The sun set over the woods on my way south last night and now it’s peeking through the trees to the east. We’ll be crossing portions of the Chesapeake Bay in just about 20 minutes and then the Delaware River shortly after that. You never really appreciate George Washington and his rowboat until you actually cross the Delaware River and realize how ENORMOUS it is. Then we’ll be speeding through the heart of Philadelphia, crossing either the Schuykill River or the Delaware (I’m not sure which it is at that point). I’ll never forget the first time I made this trip, on my way to the City for a job interview, and how excited I was to see a rowing team on the river and joggers running the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum, Rocky-style.

Train travel on the East Coast is easy, especially from the mid-Atlantic to Boston. There are accessible train stations, connections from main centers to local trains that run to the centers of smaller communities, and trains at every hour of the day. That’s really not the case further inland. It should be.

Train travel is my favorite way to go. Don’t get me wrong, I’m kind of in love with my tour bus. I stop it when I want or need to, it goes directly to most places I need it to, and is highly functional. But it’s not practical outside of tour life. For my real life, it’s the train. There’s crazy leg room, a cafe on board, a bathroom on board if needed, a plug for my computer, and my wireless broadband card works through almost the entire trip. It’s way better than flying - no two-hour prior to departure requirement, electronics can stay in the on-position, no metal detetectors, no baggage fees for something over 50 pounds as long as I haul it on board myself, and an iced tea from home can come on board. Few people are pissed off when they get on the train. No one seems afraid to talk to their neighbor. The seats have enough room that no one does that awkward thing of not looking at someone coming down the aisle in need of a seat. And instead of the being told you’re flying over something great that you wish you could see, it’s all at eye level - everything from grand buildings in the heart of a great American city to ducks tentatively stepping on the ice of a frozen pond.

There are, of course, some not great views. Let’s be real. The train tracks in any given city run through some colorful parts of town. They run by trash dumps, rock quarries, warehouses, factories, and in many cases a lot of abandoned buildings. But if you can take a moment to appreciate the parts of town we rarely take the time to see, see the beauty in the ruins of formerly great brick housing, and appreciate the grandeur of stone arches in railroad bridges and tunnels from the Gilded Age when train travel was the only way to go any distance at all, then every moment is a treat.

And even to this day many of our grandest buildings are train stations. It’s a pleasure to wait for the train. You feel like you’re going somewhere special, and the journey will be as exciting as the destination.

One of the reasons the East Coast is so efficient is the availability of train travel. The rest of the country really ought to work out their track issues with the privately-owned railroads and make passenger train travel this accessible to the rest of the country! All aboard!