If you’ve made it as far as this blog, and/or know the title reference, you’ve probably guessed my affinity for the late 1980s and early 1990s hair bands. That was MY era.   I loved it.  Long-haired men, too much eyeliner, gallons of Aquanet, a never-ending party on the Sunset Strip, and every male aged 14 - 25 had an overly optimistic dream of being a ROCK GOD.  Penelope Spheeris might have tried to warn us off the dream by showing us Chris Holmes, wasted, in a pool, and pouring ridiculous amounts of vodka on himself while his mother watched, but it wasn’t enough to keep millions of teenagers with dreams of arena tours away from Los Angeles. I loved it. I think Michael Wagener probably still has 10% of all of my babysitting money, and the rest is with Atlantic Records.

But by the time I started going to L.A. regularly in the early 2000s, the scene was long gone. I didn’t even make it in time for the death rattle. It just didn’t exist. The long haired rocker boy with his fifth of Jack that I dreamed of saving from himself and managing his wild, star-studded career had been replaced by shaved heads, hip-hop rhythms, and club tours instead of the sheds and arenas of the 1990s. It didn’t look anything like my dream. And suddenly, when Winger, Skid Row, or Mr. Big rolled up on my iPod at parties, I was subjected to rolling eyes and friends diving to turn off the music.

After spending my years in Rock and Roll and subsequently venue management, I’m happy to have landed my dream career in commercial theatre. It’s a different dream than I imagined, but in the best twist of events I could have ever asked for, my L.A. rock scene has come to me in New York. Rock of Ages, a hilarious yet honest tribute to the over-the-top, glorious stupidity and never-ending fun of the 1980s rock scene is parked at the Brooks Atkinson just two Avenues over from me, right on 47th Street.

It’s difficult to put into words the incredible joy this show is bringing sold out audiences every single night. It’s like watching a two-hour-and-fifteen-minute version of a rock ballad video from the late 1980s with every element of the era portrayed perfectly. There’s spandex. There’s big hair. There are a lot of short skirts, strippers, screaming guitars and wailing vocals. There’s a tawdry rock-club-bathroom fling. And best of all, there are Bartles & James, “nothing but Red 40 in a bottle” wine coolers. It’s everything I wanted L.A. to be! And it’s right down the street from my Midtown Manhattan apartment!

Run, do not walk, to see this show. Not only is it the great music of the era - Styx, REO Speedwagon, Bon Jovi, Mr. Big, Extreme, Warrant, Twisted Sister, Damn Yankees, Night Ranger, Poison, Pat Benetar to name only some - but the musical lines are interwoven in a way that defies jukebox musical cliches. The dialogue is wrapped in the appropriate verses of each song to fit what the characters are saying - no more, no less. This is a musical that could have gone horrifically wrong…but it’s perfect. It’s a show that has only an inch of play to avoid disaster. It’s a high-wire act - a little too much of anything could ruin the vibe, make it unbearably cheesy or less than the all out fun it should be, yet it rides the tight rope beautifully night after night bringing audiences, screaming, singing, and dancing, to their feet.

Ticket discounts are hard to come by because the show is now regularly selling out. IT IS WORTH THE FULL PRICED TICKET! Take the time to see this one with the current cast.

It’s a stunning cast overall. Constantine Maroulis, Tony-nominated for his role of Drew, is a delight to watch and plays the character well. Mitchell Jarvis is nearly Jack Black live-on-stage, performing “Lonnie” with great aplomb. I’ve seen both Amy Spanger and Savannah Wise play Sherrie, and both handled the role beautifully.  (Amy Spanger is no longer with the show.)

But I want to take a moment for a shout out to two of the less publicized but utterly brilliant cast members. James Carpinello plays Stacee Jaxx, the much-hated lead singer of the soon-to-be-defunct band Arsenal. He has the exact attitude and moves of the era and a voice that could blow out the back wall. You literally cannot take your eyes off him when he’s on stage. Adam Dannheisser is Dennis, the club owner about to lose his business on the Sunset Strip. He is dead on with every club owner I’ve ever known - down to earth, funny, nurturing of new talent and the next generation, and marginally over it. Both are roles that could go desperately wrong if cast incorrectly or pushed too far in any direction, but as credit to both of these outstanding actors and their director, Kristin Hanggi, they are practically perfect.

There may not be discounts. You might have to stand. But you will be ROCKED!

And if you don’t already own the cast recording, go get it!

Some days, my job gets in the way, and I don’t even know what I missed until much later. The job got in the way when we were in Seattle in February. I set bus call early from Yakima to Seattle because a bunch of cast members were rushing to catch the very last pre-Broadway performance of Memphis at the 5th Avenue Theatre. They raved about how great it was! While it would have been nice to catch it along with them, I had to go to the airport to check the group in for a flight the next day. (Oh, Southwest and their 24 hour check-in for decent seating!! Imagine that with a big fist shake.)

I was at the CTI 3 day workshop a couple of weeks ago, and the press agent for Memphis was there. She was discussing the show, and I hadn’t realized up to that point that not only was it a Joe DiPietro project, but David Bryan from Bon Jovi wrote the music.

This is genius, my friends! I sat in my chair through the rest of the panel and most of the next panel pondering how it happens that someone got David Bryan to write for the stage. This is no Duncan Sheik, outside-the-mainstream-material selection, kids. This is Memphis in the 1950s with the unbridled optimism of Bon Jovi lyrics, rocking powerhouse songs and huge dance numbers for the Broadway stage with a man whose been part of a 100-million albums-sold hit machine.

I might have missed in Seattle, but you can be sure that I’m not going to miss it when it hits New York in the fall.

And I already have my ticket to see DiPietro and Bryan’s other collaboration that’s open off-Broadway, The Toxic Avenger Musical.

Today’s Phrase - Sign Tourrettes

Sign Tourrettes - When pulling into any given city, it’s a whole new experience every day of what’s going to be walking distance to the hotel. Upon pulling in, the passengers of the bus begin to randomly call out the places they’re excited about. On a good day, the bus goes from being dead silent to cheers of “Target!”, “Chili’s!” and “Publix!”. On a mediocre day, it may be, “Well, there’s a McDonald’s,” or “At least there’s a Walmart.” On a bad day, there are no tourrettes. People seem unable to restrain themselves from calling out the obvious as the bus passes, hence, Sign Tourrettes.

Upon returning from the lunch stop, there was a jam-up in the front of the bus in which two company members were trying to make their way opposite directions, both nearly landing on top of the driver.

Female K, rubbing up against Male J, and unexpectedly flirting: Hey! You know, J, I would spin you like a top!

J, shaking his head and not having any of it: Foolish mortal.

I used to have Haiku Tuesday with my favorite officemate ever. Everyone can play with the 5,7,5. We’d write haikus throughout the day - sometimes traditionally, about nature and such, sometimes innocuous fluff, and sometimes a little lurid.

Well, I declared Haiku Tuesday the other day and it’s exploded. I’m now communicating with several members of the tour in 5,7,5 rhythm. And it’s nearly always less than 140 characters, so it’s the perfect text message. Heh. It’s definitely April.

Snark Five Seven Five
Giggles for those in the know
Play along at home.

Ah, my friends, we’ve reached that point in the tour. Somewhere around the seventh month of a tour, all social etiquette goes out the window. It’s dangerous to live and work with the same people in the best of situations, but when everyone spends a few hundred miles a day on the same bus, things eventually get snarky.

I always loved the Golden Girls and still occasionally catch an episode on Lifetime, but I still marvel that the show consisted basically of the characters attacking each others personal flaws for humor. There was love behind it, but in most social or work situations, the comments would land you in pretty hot water with your friends or loved ones. Tour is its own version of family…and we’ve reached the funny/sitcom mean portion of the tour. People are now allowing their frustrations with others to come out in varying ways - some constructive, some very funny and not terribly personal, and unfortunately some tear-inducing.

But on the funny end…even the bus driver is in on the action. So for today’s Overheard on the Bus:

K: There’s a Japanese steakhouse at the lunch stop. Maybe I can have some saki. It’s 10:45 in the morning! I’ll be sober by show time.

N: Would it make you sit in your seat until the end of the ride instead of bouncing around for the last hour?

K: I get restless! I’m good until about 3 o’clock, then I’m done. I have to get off this bus!

Me: Well, if you’ll sit down for the rest of the ride, and maybe take a nap, I won’t object to you drinking eight hours before a show.

K: I’m restless! I’m just…restless!

Bus driver: Well, we’re headed for Newport News. Get your heels on because I think the fleet is in port.

K: Is that the Marines?

Driver, N, and Me: No, it’s the navy!

K: Ooh. Then I’m going to change my shirt, too.

Speaking of Great Big Sea…

I have to say that I know every single day how lucky I am to be living the dream - truly, not in the sarcastic way. I wanted to be a road manager and I pursued it vigilantly for a decade and a half until I got here. But there are still small thrills every day when I realize that I actually did it.

And a couple of weeks ago, it was one of those days. I was having a very bad time being away from family during a fairly serious crisis and was trying not to let the company know what a mess I was…and lo and behold, the promoter brought me a copy of the program book for the two shows we were performing. And right there on the cover was my show right next to one of my hero acts, Great Big Sea. It was the thrill moment I needed to get through the day.

I’m not one for fan mail, but given that we had missed each other in venues three times in two weeks and I used to make sure to see at least three shows on each of their tours, I had to leave a note to wish them luck with their tour. And I got on my bus at the end of the day, remembering that somewhere along the way, I arrived.

I always enjoy the advice of the lads from Great Big Sea: Bob’s Soundtrack, Alan’s From the Road (which is a great on-line tour diary), and the tales from Sean McCann as told from the perspective of his beagle, Tosh. Their blogs are always a good bit of fun. But today, I came to appreciate them even more. As the one who regularly has to train company members for press interviews, I especially appreciated Bob Hallett’s latest post - Media Relations 1001. Knowing the medium is 2/3 of the battle.

So next time you’re scheduled for a morning interview, please take his advice. And the bit about writing the reporter’s name on your hand is sage advice from someone who’s been there. You have no idea how little your brain functions at 5:45 am when you didn’t get off stage until 11:30 the night before.

Today’s Phrase - Livin’ the Dream, aka Living the Dream

Livin’ the Dream - The standard answer to ‘how are you?’. The inflection given and the day’s circumstances indicate what kind of ‘dream’ is being lived. There are days that everyone is gearing up for an amazing performance and they’re hyped to live the dream of being on stage in front of a great crowd. And there are other days that the dream consists of 500 miles on a bus into a show with tiny, dirty dressing rooms and considering it quite generous when there happens to be a tray of sweaty deli meat and a few oranges for catering. Some days it’s a dream, some days it’s sarcasm, but no matter what, it’s the dream.

Today’s Phrase - Rule Number One is No Number Two

Rule Number One is No Number Two - This should actually be the first phrase I ever posted because it is, in fact, the cardinal rule of touring. Bus bathrooms are not equipped to handle solid waste in any form. So if you have to go number two, you have to tell the driver to find a gas station, truck stop, fast food place, whatever, so you can use a real bathroom. It’s a bad thing all the way around if anyone disobeys Rule Number One, and in some cases the driver is allowed to fine the individual that breaks the rule. So no number two on the bus!